you shouldn’t do this

you shouldn’t do that

i’m trying to wake you up

you’re an attention seeker

i’ll never forgive you for what you did

sometimes we don’t see what’s our fault

you need to admit your mistake

"what fault? what mistake?" I asked

No reply.

You see, when people hate me from the start, they hate whatever I do.

I will only apologize for mistakes which I admit to. If I don’t admit to it, it means I don’t see it as a mistake.

I’m sure people will start calling me “attention seeker” like they always do when I try to explain myself.

whatever. if you don’t like me in the first place, if you’re prejudiced against me right from the start, you wouldn’t believe whatever I say.

Fandom VS Me

It’s always the case of Fandom VS Me.

Am I not speaking proper English?

Should I switch to tweeting in Chinese?

Many times people misunderstood my tweets, blame me for my opinions, tell me not to tweet my opinions on twitter… then what should I do on Twitter? Tweet mundane stuff like “good morning, i just woke up”, “the bread tastes horrible today”, “I fell down the stairs ouch”???

If twitter accounts are not meant for tweeting one’s thoughts, then what should one tweet?

What happened today was really a misunderstanding, or this is what I think so.

I RT-ed trans from BABYz who translated parts of HimJae’s interview. Those tweets were about B.A.P saying sorry to korean fans who have been waiting for a long time, so they said they’ll have a korean comeback soon.

So what I tweeted was

"each time bap apologize to k-fans for making them wait, i can’t help but to feel sorry for intl fans living in countries BAP nv went before"

"i feel sorry for m’sia & indonesian fans tbh… there are so many fans there who have been waiting even longer than k-fans"

"its like their impression of the world map is Korea, Japan, America and Europe, don’t neglect Southeast Asia lol"

And there were tweets from other people like

jesus CHRIST. just bc bap says sorry to kfans for making them wait doesn’t mean they’re neglecting other countries holy fuck”

This aktfvon girl will never stop”

why are you protest that you are NOT even a Baby.”

It’s not the first time that such things have occurred…

Point is, don’t judge a person based on one tweet, or more accurately, three tweets in my case. 

When I tweeted those tweets, what I had in mind was that BAP always feel sorry for kfans because they have to wait for them, BUT some fans from Malaysia and Indonesia and other countries have been waiting for ages! Take indonesian BABYz for example, BAP haven’t even gone there to perform once… yet they’re still waiting for BAP to go to Indonesia one day… 

On the other hand, apart from LOE, most of the time BAP are in korea, even if they don’t promote on music shows, they’re still physically in korea, they live in korea, you get to see them perform for events, you get to bump into them on the streets in korea IF you’re lucky enough… that “wait” is not that arduous as compared to those who haven’t met BAP before.

It’s not like I’m saying BAP should apologize to fans in every country where they haven’t performed before.

They shouldn’t even have to apologize. Not to intl fans, not to korean fans, not to anyone. Travelling around the world is part of their job. You can’t expect them to travel everywhere to perform within a few months.

Therefore, I think there’s no need for them to feel sorry for kfans whose “wait” is actually shorter than most of fans in other parts of the world…

I don’t even know why I’m explaining myself lol. I get misunderstood most of the time for my opinions.

Just hope people will understand me better before making judgments. And to all those people who believed those people who tweeted judgments about me, they don’t even follow me, they don’t even know me, so… it won’t be fair if you trust their judgments and blame me for things that I didn’t imply.

If you’re unsure of what I’m tweeting, you can always ask me first. Don’t just judge based on one tweet, or 140 characters.

That having said, I’m not actually mad at people who misread my tweet, or think differently from me. I just feel injustice because it seems like my tweets were wrongly interpreted.

And thanks to m’sian fans and indonesian fans who share the same thoughts as me that BAP should perform in your respective countries soon, and I really hope you guys can meet BAP one day! Every time BAP comes to SG, I feel kinda bad for the fans in neighbouring countries… I hope one day BAP can include a Southeast Asian Tour like their Europe Tour and Japan Tour (:

Regarding why I don’t consider myself as a BABY, the reason is also because of this. If I were to call myself a BABY, all this conflict would be labelled as an internal fandom war. But if i’m not called a BABY, then it would be labelled as Fandom VS Me, so it doesn’t give the BABY fandom a bad name, and yay you guys are all united against me, isn’t this better?

Lastly, don’t always think negatively about me. I support BAP as much as you do.

(p.s. I’m not against any of the twitter users mentioned above. I just want to clear things up. People who read their tweets probably already formed a negative idea towards me, and I don’t want to change it, but I shared this on my twitter so that people could understand my POV better. No offence to anyone.)

[Personal Opinion] Just Coincidence

Remember this lady who posted this picture image

She’s a singer-songwriter who was featured in Still PM’s song a few years back, before Bang debuted.

The next day she posted this


#yesterday - aka the day she posted the previous picture

#angel #1004 - I can’t help it but to think of you-know-who

#holdmyhand - um yeah you get it



And she proceeds to post a picture of the bracelet which she received for her birthday (from the 1st pic, not sure if it’s from that ahjusshi or Bang), and she uses the hashtag #GOODNIGHT (which was quite a coincidence because Bang posted an ig post with captions #GOODMORNING just a while before that (but he removed the captions eventually…)

And she also posted a black&white photo of #richardcopycat, which is probably a place where songwriters love to go, because Bang posted that quite some time ago, before he deleted it.

And well, they both unfollowed everyone. SWAG huh.

And both with the same number of posts. Telepathy power.


That was when Sleepy posted a pic of Bang in the recording studio. Note the captions.


#bangbangbang - idk if we’re thinking about the same meaning

#workhard - okay, work hard again


They think alike I guess?

All black and white photos from her have not been doctored by me (I mean I didn’t filter it to be black and white. They were originally like that.)

And Bang deleted some of his ig posts for some reason a few days ago…

And bingo! She deleted some too…


The end of story. 

Pure coincidence. They have so much in common though. Or maybe she’s copying him. Lol. 

To everyone who says Jongup can’t sing


2nd Adventure: Banghim

Arguing over a pic


I was really lucky to win a pair of tickets to B.A.P’s LOE2014 Singapore Attack, because I wasn’t able to afford the pricey tickets, which were almost twice the prices of tickets sold last year. My seats were in Cat 3, not exactly good but not too bad, considering that my seat was directly in the middle of the stage and that The Star Theatre was pretty small.

I reached the venue pretty late at around 4.45pm (concert starts at 7pm). There were many BABYz at the amphitheatre at The Star Vista, including many Korean + China fansite admins. It was quite funny seeing BABYz run from one spot to another, queuing up and playing games with fansite admins to get their gifts from fansites. I just loitered around the mall…cos I’m too old to be playing with those kids like that XD

Anyway, I got my gift from FatalShot and Moonlight Angel. Moonlight Angel’s gift was for their 100th day special event, which consisted of a First Sensibility Album with a Jongup photocard and a pretty envelope filled with mini Jongup photocards! TBH I’ve never heard of FatalShot, but it’s a Himchan fansite.

At around 6.30pm, my sis and I headed to the concert venue. There was a crowd at the gantry and at the bag check spot. I was quite worried that my camera would be found, but I kept it in a secret compartment and covered it with many packets of tissue, so the security guard didn’t notice it.

The concert venue was filled with blue lights and there was this thin fog which filled the theatre. In contrast to last year’s LOESG where they played the new MV ‘Badman’, no MV was played during this LOE. Only Asiana Airlines commercials.

The opening song was “B.A.P” - a remixed version where it was sped up a little and had a little techno beat to it. Soon BAP appeared and the crowd went crazy. They started off with One Shot in their black and gold costumes. I don’t even think we followed the proper fanchants because everyone was just singing and shouting along. It was so awesome to be part of the green matoki ocean!

Immediately after One Shot was Badman and Power. I have no idea how the boys have so much energy because you know, BAP’s choreography is always so intense and powerful. Speaking of Power, I LOVE THE SPRAY CAN DANCE THE MOST. I was telling my sis about how cool the spray can dance is. And the deodorant smells so good lol. I’ve always wanted to take their spray cans home but I don’t think its possible XD

Now its the video segment for <Justice> and <Love is…> I can’t remember when this happened, but there was a part where Yongguk had an English monologue and his speech was pretty long. I was amazed by his English skills cos it wasn’t easy to remember such a long speech. Anyway I love the small clips that BAP played during the parts where they go backstage to change their clothes. The clips are like emotional slideshows with really meaningful quotes, along with soothing music. <Love is…> IS SUPER CUTE! Jokomato and Totomato’s “lobeu” talk was so adorable!

BAP came back on stage with their galaxy-styled suits and sang Lovesick. The choreo was EXTREMELY CUTE! It’s like watching 6 fluffy bunnies run around on stage. After Lovesick, the staff pushed out the StarBABY coffee cart. Himchan first introduced the coffeeshop barista (aka BAP’s camera man) as Mr Kim, 30 years old (LMAO HIMCHAN). Zelo took a cup of orange juice and pointed to a fangirl seated at the first row. It was so sweet to see him pass the orange juice to her across the barrier. Then it was Jongup’s turn and the moment he went to the side of the stage, a fangirl ran up to him and he looked quite shocked. But I thought it was kinda rude for her to do that… regardless of how desperate she wants to be THAT lucky girl. My poor puppy looks so scared but he still sang “Do you want to drink a coffee” to her. And her reply was “As long as you like it, I’ll take it”. Jongup looked so lost and he looked back at the members but BAP’s expressions were the same, the “wtf is she saying” kind of expression. Jongup passed the mic to her again, which she repeated the same reply. C’MON GIRL, CAN’T YOU JUST SAY SOMETHING SIMPLER, LIKE ‘YES’ OR SOME SIMPLE KOREAN ‘NE JOAYO”. Anyway she got the orange juice from Jongup and that was the end of the coffee segment.

Next song was Coffee Shop and Daehyun hit all his falsetto high notes perfectly. Then the boys started stripping off their blazers for Body&Soul. I almost died at Jongup’s solo part, cos his voice was REALLY AMAZING. His voice used to be rather weak when he first debuted, but he improved so much, i think he’s in between Daehyun’s and Youngjae’s vocal texture. Daehyun’s voice is thick and strong and a little husky, while Youngjae’s voice is like rich hot chocolate, thick and fluid with a little R&B feel, and Jongup’s voice is thinner and sharper and higher pitched than both Daehyun and Youngjae, so I think he has the capability of taking over Daehyun’s high notes. Yes I’m 100% sure he can sing higher notes than Daehyun.

Next, they showed a boxing clip which counted down from D-100 of practice to D-Day. And there was a fake boxing ring in the middle of the stage. Zelo appeared on stage first, wearing a black leather jacket. He then introduced the players, which were Youngjae VS Jongup. So they “fought” with each other and halfway through, Youngjae sat on a chair and Daehyun fed him water (aww daejae). Jongup pretended to lose by tumbling onto the ground. They sang Punch in that boxing segment too. Jongup did the high note adlib at the end of Punch and he sounded so damn good. 

After that, BAP performed No Mercy and Bangx2. By this time, BABYz were all standing up and cheering. Honestly I shouted so much that I was sure I would lose my voice the next day. And i waved so much that my arm started to hurt but it was so worth it! About the standing part, at first the girls beside me stood up, so I asked the girls behind me if they wanted to stand up too, because if they stand up, i can stand up too. I was just afraid that I would block their view. They were really nice too, cos they said if I stand up, then they’ll stand up too XD

There was another video shown on the screen. If I remembered correctly, it was the black and white emotional video with Himchan’s face and everyone screamed lol. The end quote was “Do you remember HIM?” and everyone shouted HIMCHAN!!!!!!

So it was Rain Sound and BAP appeared with white shirts and black pants. Daehyun was wearing a white pullover while BangHimJaeLo wore white shirts. Yongguk and Youngjae rolled up their sleeves. They look so perfect in white! After Rain Sound was Jongup’s dance break. AND YES HE RIPPED HIS SHIRT. You can totally hear the screams of BABYz from miles away. My sis was like “Who is that guy?” (she isn’t a kpop fan, so she doesn’t know BAP at all. She likes Daehyun the most because she thinks he’s the most handsome. Even with his pink hair haha.) See, even my younger sis was attracted by Jongup’s abs XD.

BAP came out again after Jongup’s solo stage and performed Save Me. It’s one of my fav songs in FS album (: Youngjae’s soft vocals in the chorus part “Save me, oh save me, and be careful I’m like fire” contrasted with Daehyun’s high pitched adlibs and it was a truly great combination of the two powerful vocals. 

BAP went backstage to change their clothes again and this time, a “dance tutorial” was played on the screen. Two dancers wearing the horse head masks came out on the stage and taught us the dance for Check On. The dance tutorial was the cutest thing ever! They said something like you shouldn’t dance looking very unwilling to dance, and you can’t smack your friends beside you. BAP were reenacting all the dos and don’ts so it was really cute! I think Zelo acted out the unwilling scenario and he looked so disgusted while doing the dance. The dance had a part where you had to hi-five with the person beside you, and youngjae acted out that part, where he tried to hi-five with zelo beside him but zelo was hi-fiving another dancer so youngjae had no one to hi-five with so he hi-fived himself. ITS SO CUTE MY SQUISHY JAEJAE! 

After Check On was Excuse Me. At the end of Excuse Me, the music stopped but himchan and zelo continued singing

Let’s gettin’ high yoohoo
We so fly to the sky high yoohoo
You better go now
Get back get back get back get back
Jeonbu da jeori bikyeo
Modu what what what what”

and Zelo did some beat-boxing.

I totally shouted as loud as I could and I really enjoyed it.

During SPY. Jongup did a really fantastic front flip, but yea~ my heart flipped along with him because I was worried about his safety. 

After a ment (which I couldnt remember at all), BAP came back for Hurricane. I felt like I was clubbing hahahhaa. It felt like everyone was high and drunk and it was sooooooo good. When it was Himchan’s part, he pointed the mic at BABYz and we all sang “THE ROOF THE ROOF THE ROOF IS ON FIRE!” (yes, we made sure we sang roof and not loof cos we love himchan so much) and Himchan looked really happy and proud and he showed us a heart!!!! *dies*

Next up, Dancing In The Rain~~~ During the dance break, Himchan and Daehyun approached Jongup and tried to ask him to reveal his body. Oh did I mention that Jongup was wearing a sleeveless shirt with a see-through mesh cloth at the back? I WAS STARING AT HIS SEXY BACK THE WHOLE TIME. Anw Jongup didn’t seem like he wanted to lift up his shirt so he squirmed and tried to escape. But I think at the end he lifted up his shirt for a millisecond, but it was blocked by HC so i couldnt see much. 

After Dancing In The Rain, BAP performed Stop It. There was a part where Himchan, Zelo and Youngjae were at the side and they started hip-thrusting??? I’m not sure if they did the hip-thrusts during Hajima or Crash but I remembered it was a non-hip-thrust song, because in my mind, I was like “wow you even do hip-thrusts for this kind of song?!?!” Himchan’s hip-thrusts looked weirdly funny and cute XD He looked like a worm hahaa. Then Youngjae followed Himchan and HE DID SO MANY HIP-THRUSTS LIKE HE WAS HAVING MUSCLE SPASMS OR SOMETHING. And then, it was Zelo who did a few hip-thrusts… ahem junhong how old are you.

BAP performed Crash too~ I honestly loved Hajima and Crash era because they looked so happy. I can’t wait for them to have their comeback on 3 June!!! During the self-introduction part, when Daehyun introduced himself, he said “Hi I’m Daehyun *smiles* Hi, I’m Daehyun.” and suddenly he turned and said BYE and started walking away and the members were like “BYE~” /we don’t need you lmao/

Now for the SNS parts~ The screen showed BAP’s twitter messages. My sis asked me “wow are those real?” sorry, but no… ><

So there was this encore part which asked fans to shout louder to generate more energy. And suddenly there was Jongup, who was dressed in all white, walking down the stairs on the stage. Everyone screamed their heads off. Jongup walked to the middle of the stage and there was this long awkward silence cos the music didn’t start lol. When the music played, Jongup did his solo dance for 1004 and everyone stood up and did fanchants! 1004 is a song significant to both BAP and BABYz, because it was the song that brought our fandom together and BAP won their first music show award with that song. Himchan sounds especially good in his part! Even better than the CD version!

There was another ment after 1004, where Jongup talked about Chilli Crab “It was… YUMMY!” and they made him repeat again “It was… YUMMY!” lol he sounded soooooo cute! Like a little kid XD

OH YES BEFORE I FORGET, DAEHYUN SANG  A BIT OF <어디니? 뭐하니?> In fact, he sang one line of the chorus twice and the members were like “hey hey enough enough”. In the end, Yongguk told everyone to do once properly, and BAP did the marching dance thing they did in the MV while Daehyun sang 어디니? 뭐하니? 뭐 하는 너~ (I’m not sure about the last few words, but that was what I heard). I love how BAP always give SGBABYz a snippet of their new songs <33333

Youngjae told us to countdown for 100 seconds so that they could go and change their clothes. Daehyun gave the mic to Jongup who said “We’ll come back sooooooooooon” (he dragged the “soon” in a very cute way!) Himchan said they’ll perform their debut song, and asked us what is it. BABYz shouted “Warrior!” but Yongguk said something like “no you must say it like this *deep voice* WARRIORRRR~~HOOOOO!!!!” and BABYz laughed.

So we counted down for 100 seconds, and at 13 seconds, the timer kinda stopped and BOOM, BAP came out again, performing their debut song, Warrior. Warrior is really the perfect song for BAP. From the concept to the lyrics to the choreography, everything is PERFECT. I took a fancam of this while standing up since I knew its the last song left and I definitely have to take this chance to film something good at least, so that I can keep it for memories’ sake. 

After Warrior, BAP thanked everyone for coming, and they said they were really happy to see all of us. Himchan made a pinky promise with us that they will come back to SG again T_T (i’m really hoping he will keep his promise and come back… because the sales for LOESG isn’t really looking good tbh) Daehyun said “Singapore is like my th…third?…*looks at members and members mouthed “second!” to him*… um, Singapore is like my SECOND home!” LOL DAEHYUN… I think he’s too honest XD haha I remembered he said LA was his second home… maybe thats why he almost said third home for Singapore. /okay third is fine~ still within top three!

Himchan said “Okay, 2nd floor thank you!” and gave us thumbs up sign. THANK YOU HIMCHAN FOR REMEMBERING US BABYZ WHO WERE STUCK AT CIRCLE 1 SEATS UPSTAIRS. I’M SO TOUCHED OMG. It means a lot to us because I think only Himchan and Daehyun interacted with the fans upstairs :/ 

When the concert was about to end, the security guard caught me filming and she told me I had to delete all my stuff. I apologized but she said “sorry, it’s our company’s policy” bloody hell what is this shit

I don’t know if I’m lucky or not, because she caught the girl beside me filming too, and the concert just ended at the moment so everyone started moving, so my sis told me to just run away. We hurriedly ran away and managed to escape! THANK GOD.

After concert, we wanted to take some photos near the stage, so we told a lie to the security guard that we left our stuff in the concert venue, so we managed to sneak back into the hall. We took some photos and picked up some banners and confetti from the floor.

We went to the carpark to see if we could find BAP’s van but we decided that it was getting pretty late, so we had to head home. Yup, so that’s about it! My 2nd experience with BAP :D Overall, the concert felt shorter than last year’s although it was 120 mins as compared to 90 mins for LOESG2013. Thank you BAP for putting up such a wonderful performance for everyone! I really must thank the fans for being so enthusiastic and hyper yesterday because everyone stood up and danced like there’s no tomorrow (:

Chan’s noona unfollowed me today ):

She probably doesn’t like sashimi or fermented rice punch cos those were the only two posts i posted today ):

Or maybe she stalked my acc and found out that I’m a BABY


But at least I managed to talk to her a bit. kkkk

And hopefully she doesnt block me out of her acc ><

Add cute matoki twibbons to your twitcons/DPs

I was kinda bored at home so I made some simple matoki twibbons~
There are a few colors available~ ^^

Jongup likes amazing spiderman?